An unexpected factor in the breatfeeding relationship

An old friend just had a baby. I learnt on Facebook that she was keen on breastfeeding and so I offered her my help if she had any concerns or problems, or just wanted a listening ear. I didn't want to be too pushy because I wasn't sure whether she could take my hardcore breastfeeding persona.

The cry for help came when the baby was about 6 weeks old. She was sick of pumping, didn't know why the baby kept crying and was seriously comtemplating giving up. She wanted to know whether she would still be able to nurse the baby instead of expressing, because she really wanted to continue to give the baby the best. My greatest fear was that the baby had developed nipple confusion, but thankfully, I found she had a great latch and was definitely still interested in the breast.

I also learnt to my horror, that my friend's confinement nanny had told her not to feed the baby too often, but to try to stretch the interval between feedings to 3 hours (and the poor girl had obeyed). Good grief!! THAT explained why the baby seemed to be crying so much, and why the mother's breasts didn't seem full. She also wasn't very hungry (sure sign of not losing enough calories through breastfeeding, haha).

It was quite a shock to me because I didn't realise that the confinement nanny could be such an important factor in making or breaking the breastfeeding relationship. After all, I have quite a number of friends who had wonderful supportive nannies. My friend's mother-in-law told me she thinks that all confinement nannies should be certified before being allowed to practise, and I quite agree with her.

And the EC begins all over again

With #1, breastfeeding was my main challenge (and a tough one too). By the time #2 came around, I was determined to try my hand at EC (the new thing). I suppose this time it's a given since we already did it full time previously.

This baby was designed for EC. Whereas his jiejie and gorgor pooed in drips and drabs, making catching their poo practically futile, he, for lack of a better word,"consolidates" it into a few times a day, and starts pushing and grunting very obviously in addition to turning red in the face. I recall when Rv was an infant, he peed immediately upon stirring, and thus we had to be intensely vigilant. However this little one is usually able to hold for at least half a minute, leastways till I got to him. We usually make it to the bathroom. Or the little bottle.

My problem is that I do not have enough pocket diapers for use when we go out. At home we're using folded flat + liner + cover, and this combination is hell to put back on when you're at a busy market. I regret altering most of the pockets I made for Rv to become training pants without soakers (WHAT had been going through my head then??). And I am no longer in the sewing mood (nor do I have the time). Dang.

My VBA2C story and thoughts

Well folks, you won't see stuff like "went to the loo and had a show". Here's the gist of it:
Drug-free VBAC, although we had to do a vacuum because right when I was pushing they did the Doppler and the baby's heartbeat had dropped quite a bit. Because of the vacuum, I was transferred to the bed and put in stirrups, but these actually helped to alleviate some of the cramping and numbness in my legs. I birthed lying flat on my back (not semi-reclining!).
No episiotomy, but I did have a first degree tear and a few stitches.
The whole thing lasted for 6 1/2 hrs, from 3.30am to 10am, much shorter than expected. After all, I laboured for 14hrs with Reuvel, before being told that it wasn't gonna happen and they shot me with an epidural and sent me to the OT.
Reflections:
Some of you know just how much I wanted a VBAC when I was having #2. When it didn't happen, and my postnatal discussion with Paul concluded on the note that chances for a future VBAC would be very slim, I told myself then, if I can't have a VBAC, I WON'T have another baby. Then along comes the unplanned #3, whom God used to show me that I really can't give up hope. Anything is possible with Him.
Regrets:
My perfect birth would be birthing standing or kneeling upright, no tears (and no stitches!), and DH catching the baby. But my legs were numb and cramped from lying on my side once we got to the hospital, so that was out, plus I was tired out. But hey! I got my VBAC! And delayed cord clamping! And DH cut the cord! And I could nurse the baby immediately after Paul was done stitching! All these had been in my birth plan for #2. And I laughed and cried simultaneously for 3 minutes straight when they put the baby on my chest and I realised it was all over.
My deepest gratitude to:
Jehovah God - who heard all our prayers.
Ginny Phang - who taught me, 6 years ago, how to breathe and vocalise when the contractions got intense. This was how we got there drug-free.
Pat Chong - who lent me her last minute buddha's leg.
Amy Chin-Atkins - who encouraged me in every single email
to listen to my body and have faith in myself. And sent me the "research evidence" that I needed to put my fears at rest and go ahead with a TOLAC.
Gigy Chong - who was the very first person to tell me, straight to my face and without a doubt, that I would be able to do it. You know how much it meant to me.
Paul Tseng of TLC clinic - who at first discouraged me to go for a VBA2C but in the end, consented to my birth plan. You rock!
DH - who held my hands when it became unbearable and cried tears of joy with me when the baby was finally put on my chest. And who supported and trusted me in my decisions every step of the way.
And then the fourth trimester began d:)

Time to let go

We have been living at our new home for 2 weeks, and tonight is the first night my son is sleeping in his own room, i.e. away from me. For the last 2 weeks, he slept on a mattress on the floor in our room, and before we moved, our beds were all connected in the huge bedroom, Ray's included (talk about the family bed).

This morning when I moved his mattress to his bedframe in his room, I wasn't really serious about shifting him out. But he was 100% ok, and looking forward to it in fact. That's when I realised that I was the one, who couldn't leave the family bed.

Yes, I've been babying my big boy, he turns six tomorrow but I still see him as my toddler. Doesn't help that he looks really babyish, and is short for his age, and is SOOOOOO adorable and lovable, just like a baby bear. I really do love him to bits.

But now another little boy is coming along (sometime within the next 3 weeks), and I have to prepare myself emotionally to move my big boy up to korkor status. I know HE's ready to be korkor, and excited.

I wonder how much sleep I will get tonight, probably check on him every hour or so when I go to the bathroom.

Time to move on

The renovations for our new home have begun and we have an estimated 5 weeks before we move (that is if Murphy's Law doesn't happen). There are a lot of decisions to make, rethink, and confirm.

In the meantime, I am popping my veins over Temasek MagicLand, a fund-raising carnival organised by Ray's primary school (also my alma mater) for the needy students in the school (and I am proud to say that there are quite a number, as well as special needs students). June and I are in charge of the Chinese food stalls at Foodland, only one part of the whole show. This happens on 16 July, and it's open to the public.

I've never been a part of it, MagicLand only having been developed way after I graduated so I am pretty excited (although I'm not sure what to expect). It's challenging to say the least, to organise the food and roster, and in this respect I am bowled over by the generosity of the parents when it comes to fund-raising. We have food, monetary, and time and effort contributions from so many parents! I can only say that I am very proud to be a part of this school.

Once MagicLand is over, I can focus more on house-moving as well as birth plans, with the latter giving me the greatest headache. Paul doesn't want me to go for a VBA2C, on account of my having tried with the boy (who was huge! 3.98kg!). But he says he's open to it IF I go into labour earlier (unlikely) OR if the baby is much smaller (perhaps more Ray's size at 3.28kg). Well, I told him I will give it more thought once these 2 imminent projects are over.

Decisions, decisions!

And I have to decide which of my beloved plants (which have been neglected rather) will be making the move with us. The compost pile will be "inherited" by my parents, and I have been doing some minor reading up on container gardening. My original plan was to build a raised bed at the balcony, but alas! the costs are way too high, so till our situation changes, everything will have to be in pots or troughs. I hate pots!

All the herbs are going over of course, tiny pots which will sit nicely on the low bookcases at the windows. The chilli is already in a pot (I read that chillies and peppers do better in confined soil than open ground), and the red okra will have to be reseeded once I can find the right sized pot (easy) and the time (not so easy). My four o'clock plants are not setting seed (!) and I don't have the time now to read up and make changes, so I will have to ask Amanda for more seeds. They germinate very easily anyway, and grow very fast. Ray's asking for one specimen in her room, but I told her the 4 o'clock will be too big for the bookcase at full maturity. So she's going to try her hand at seeding some new basil.

I will miss my garden, but there's no point in moping over what cannot be changed.

New ways to use your Old stuff

Now the tenants are out (finally!) we can begin renovating in earnest. The next couple of months will be pretty hectic - house reno and moving, MagicLand and regular PV work. And then - the baby!

Here are some cool ways to give your old things a new lease of life

1. Ways to reuse old clothes
- make accessories eg. hair ties, bracelets, belts.
- make bean bag chairs out of huge old Ts
- make gift wraps

2. Ways to reuse old socks
- make sock dolls
- make rags
- use as cushioning for fragile items when housemoving
- make potpourri holders
- make ponytail bands
- make bottle covers for oily condiment bottles
- make bean bags for games

3. Ways to reuse old sheets
- make reusable shopping bags
- make pillow cases
- make aprons

4. Ways to reuse old CDs/DVDs
- make mobiles / suncatchers
- use as bike reflectors
- use as paper plate weights (glue on bottom of plates)
- make retro doorway screen/curtain
- use as mirror for back of computers
- use as carpet protectors
- use as garden markers
- use as invitation cards
- use as christmas tree decorations
- make wall art

Flowers for Teatime

This plant is so-called because the buds all burst into bloom round about 4 o'clock. I have been watching them and it's true.

My Four O'clock plants have decided it's time to showcase their lovely blooms after growing for about 2.5 months.Here is a closeup of the yellow flower.

And here is a closeup of the pink one.
And both can be found on the same plant! Yes, one plant will produce flowers of more than one colour and each flower can have splashes of more than one colour as well. After the blooms wilt, each head will produce one big black seed, which is easy to sow and germinates readily. This plant does not grow too tall (about 1.5 ft max), and is very suitable for container gardening. I am sure bringing this with me when I move to my flat!

Use your Basil!

 



Basil benefits from regular pruning, and since my Thai Basils were beginning to flower (oh no!) I chopped off most of their foliage, leaving only about 2 inches of leaves on each stalk. SO, what do I with all this crop? Two mature Basil plants can give quite a lot of "harvest", depending on what you want to do.

 Herb Garlic Butter
1 250gm block butter (mine is salted), softened
2 to 5 sprigs of basil leaves, stems removed
5 cloves garlic, finely minced
Pinch ground black pepper (optional)

Method:
Finely chop the basil leaves and mix everything together. Spoon into a container (I used a Chinese rice bowl and covered with cling wrap) and refrigerate at least half a day to let the flavours meld. Spread generously on bread and toast it. Yummy!

Pesto
At least 10 stalks of basil leaves, stems removed
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup toasted walnuts
2 cloves garlic (add more if you prefer, but beware!)
3/4 cup of extra virgin olive oil, more if necessary
Pinch of salt (optional)

Method:
Blend or process all ingredients till you get a smooth thick paste. If you have a tiny chopper like mine, process the walnuts fine first, remove and add to cheese in a separate bowl, ditto garlic, and lastly process the basil with some EVOO. Stir/mix well in the bowl.
Store in airtight glass jar in the fridge, make sure there is a thin layer of oil on the top of the paste to reduce browning.

Update 2012: In an effort to lengthen the shelf life of the pesto in the fridge, I have discovered that the cheese can be omitted from the recipe. We like it even without the cheese (boy can't taste the difference, haha!) but if preferred, it's still possible to add the grated cheese when serving.

Disclaimer: These are recipes I got off the net but adjusted to my own preferences. They're not necessarily the best. If you have your own recipes, that's great! Whatever it is, just use up your Basil. Pruning will ensure you have lots of Basil whenever you need it (it sprouts more shoots and leaves very quickly).

If only I could find more uses for Mint! I haven't even used a single leaf yet!

First Antenatal Appointment at 20 weeks

I will be seeing Paul for the first time tomorrow. Many have expressed their surprise that I haven't gone earlier. "Can meh?" they ask with raised eyebrows and eyes wide open. Why not? I counter, will the police come and haul you off to the clink?

The point is that I am comfortable with my actions, based on what I know. If there is something wrong, I will accept it. This is making an informed decision, and I have all my birthing friends (you know whom you are) to thank.

I have also decided that I WILL go for the developmental scan and bear the discomfort of lying on my back for an hour. This after talking through with HL and a close neighbour and friend, so we can prepare for any possible problems.

Other than that, I'm not thinking much about this pregnancy or the birth. I believe I have made my preparations (short of taking the appropriate bag of baby clothes from Mum!) all those years ago when I was expecting Rv and I have never really forgotten what I learnt.

My mind is turned to some other matters instead - renovation, garden, and my work. A lot to consider, and alas, I can multi-task, but not very well. It doesn't help that even at 20 weeks I have horrid nausea days (like today) about once a week. And normal life has to go on - schedules, meals, laundry, cleaning, voluntary work...

Life is full.

More Gardening Plans

As my fatigue eases off slowly and I make fewer trips to the porcelain goddess, I remind myself that I really cannot let the garden go to ruin on account of the baby. So here are a few plans for some work to be done in the next few weeks, hopefully mostly in the March holidays.

1. Build a low wall around the bed out of bricks and rubble (note to self: buy a bag of cement from the hardware store), this will make for a more effective raised bed to keep the weeds out since I only have the one bed and paths are not necessary.

2. Clear away the old dead annuals in the bed - the french marigolds, the olde spicy basil bush that already has a few offspring growing beneath it.

3. Mix in some finished compost into the soil to build up nutrients. Mulch while waiting to complete point 4.

4. Transplant in the capsicum/chilli plants that have taken a turn for the better, and any new seedlings that we manage to seed in the next week, eg. red okra, ornamental capsicum. (note to self: start seeding!)

5. Divide Mum's thyme plants and repot or transplant into bed. A few clumps would be good.

6. Fertilise all plants with liquid kelp.

Back to bed. My energy has run down.

About my breastfeeding journey

My son has self-weaned, at the grand old age of 5 years and 2 months. His elder sister stopped at 4 years and 2 months. And just when I thought it was more or less over, it seems it will begin all over again, in about 6 months' time.

I was not too thrilled at first, but with the passing of time, we have come to accept this fact (although I suspect HL is still coming to grips with the issue). I am glad that I will not be tandem nursing, because although I do believe in it, it was a really, shall I say, tough experience for both me and Ray. Not long ago, I was just checking to see if I had any milk at all (none, only a few drops of clear, colourless liquid from one side, doubt it's colostrum) and thought to ask the boy whether he would be interested in nursing again after the baby is born and I have lots of milk. "No," came the answer, so I guess that's that. My boy has left babyhood, although you wouldn't think it to look at him. Few are willing to believe that he will be in Primary One come next year, he looks as though he's only three! (His height doesn't help).

So now, I'm just hoping to live and get through this horrible period of discomfort which I've never had so bad before. Let whatever will happen, happen.