It has finally happened

This is the first time my 4yo is away from me for a night, and it feels strange. She's been admitted to KKH for observation of shortness of breath and bronchitis, and Dad's with her. Baby and I came home about 12mn and after lots of fussing and crying, he's finally asleep.

I look back and realise that this is only the start of her growing up, that there will be so many more nights, as she grows up, when she will be away from me, and be fine about it. I can still recall so many scenes when she refused to have anyone but Mummy, even for a nap, because she needed to nurse to be happy enough to sleep.

And yet, what a change - recently I offered to nurse her, but she giggled and said, "No thanks!" I asked her," Don't you want to nurse?" "I don't want," came the answer. She doesn't remember how to latch on, she told me.

I guess most of her independence came after weaning. As long as she didn't need to nurse to sleep, she was fine, generally. But my boy, on the other hand, CAN sleep without nursing, that is, if he isn't with me, or if he's in his childseat and I'm driving.

I feel a little sad... But I know it's time to move on.

PASS THE WINE, SOMEBODY!

Newly Mobile

Passed on my first try! Pop the champagne!

But I might have beaten a red light yesterday, gulp.

Oh well, it's good to be independent and not have to wait for the-only-one-who-could-drive to bring me out for errands. Makes my business so much more, er, run-a-ble.

Now to organise an EC gathering, something I've wanted to do for so long.

Anyone wants to offer their house?

How do you measure a year?

365 days? 365 and 1/4 days? 52 weeks? In terms of hours, minutes and seconds? In terms of the joy and sadness, ups and downs, that you went through?

A year ago, I was experiencing labour contractions for the first time in my life, although it was my second baby. I never expected it to feel like THAT. And of course I'd hoped and hoped that it wouldn't end like THIS. But the outcome was positive for both of us, mother and baby.

I'd dreamed of my baby all through my pregnancy. Sometimes, it was a girl. Sometimes, it was a boy. And other times, I didn't know the gender! But when I asked my husband, is it a boy or a girl, in the OT, he took a look, smiled a sheepish smile, and said, BOY.

And Reuvel was here to stay.

I am the Prince of Mischief

Hello again everybody,

Today I want to tell you about my pastimes. You must be very surprised - wow, I have pastimes at 11mths of age? Why yes!

One of my favs is crawling over to the clothes bureau, pulling the bottom drawer out (I'd do the higher ones if I can reach them), and throwing ALL the neatly folded clothes inside (my jiejie's) onto the floor. I pretend I'm digging for buried treasure. But I absolutely detest it when Mom and Jiejie start shouting, "No Ruvie don't!" and rush over to erase all my efforts. They usually barr me from opening the drawer again. Hey! How am I supposed to find any treasure?

As a variation, I sometimes try to pull and throw piles of neatly folded laundry which Mom or Dad has stacked up on the foam mats, so they have to fold the laundry again. I am of the opinion that they don't have enough work to do, so I generally sneak up when they are absorbed in watching TV.

Let's see... What else do I like to do? Ah yes, recently I have taken to playing with the shoes which are placed next to the front door. After handling them all over, I sometimes chew on them a bit. Everybody else seems to see something wrong with this, because as soon as they see me doing it they'll come over and take me away. And Mom calls me a puppy. Why?

And I dunno why, but these days, when we're home, I don't like to go when Mom brings me to the toilet or potty, even if I know I need to go. However, after she gives up and leaves me be, I will do a huge pee or poo and Mom will have to clean me and it up. Perhaps it's because I'm crawling now and learning more and more things everyday so I can't be bothered to do little things like pottying. Just today, I did a huge poo right next to the potty in the STUDY and was playing with it when Mom returned from the kitchen. She went up in smoke of course, but couldn't be angry with me for more than 1 second.

But although I create a lot of chaos for Mom, I know that she is very glad that I can now hold my pee all through the night till the next morning. I am also happy that Mom can now sleep more and better at night because of this.

I wonder what else I can cook up tomorrow...

Two Milkies Are Better Than One

Hi everybody,

My name is Ruvie. I am 11mo now, and I will be 1yo soon. Wow! I can't believe I've already been in this world for almost a year now, and I've learnt a lot about the people around me.

For example, last month, I learnt that my mommy has TWO milkies, yay! In the past, I usually had "milky", and I didn't understand why sometimes I had to close my left eye, and sometimes I had to close my right. But one day, when Mom was lying down flat on the bed, I crawled over to latch on to "milky", and then hey! I could see another!

Immediately I let go and moved to "um" the other one, and then hey! There's the first one again, peeping at me! So I let go to go back to the other one, and so on and so forth, causing my mommy lots of anguish because I had let go in the middle of a letdown and milk was spraying all over my face and wetting mom's bed.

Oh well. I LURRRVE MILKY!!!

WAHM now

Phew... I never knew running my own business would be so tiring and mind-boggling.

Thankfully, I don't have to do the financial planning, but getting everything in order, trying to stay ahead of the competition ON TOP OF running the family is taking its toll on me. I've been getting this neck stiffness a lot. It doesn't go away with massage (not that I get much of that anyway), keeps me from falling asleep, makes me real gonggong at times.

However I also suspect it's got something to do with my fan or eMac. ARGHHHH!

I just thought this belonged here

Hello everyone,

I have two kids - Ray 4yo, and Reu 10mo. When I became a mother for the first time, I didn't do any research on parenting, and just assumed things would come naturally. Boy was I wrong! It was only through much trial and error that I finally found my groove to parent as my instincts told me, and subsequently, I found out that what I'd been doing all along had a name - Attachment Parenting.

It began with breastfeeding - something that I felt was the only way I would feed my babies, not only because of its uncountable benefits to baby and mommy, nor because I totally didn't believe in formula, but mainly because I felt it was the right thing to do. And so, I nursed Ray on and on, despite lots of obstacles and always having to bear with the naysayers. Later, my son Reu was born when his sister was 3.5yo, and since neither of us was ready to wean, I tandem nursed for 9 months.

Now in retrospect, perhaps the most important baby paraphernalia I have ever bought is the sling. It helped me to carry Ray with me everywhere I went, and now Reu. My first sling was from Moms In Mind, and I've still got it, reluctant to sell even after I bought a few more. Then I discovered the Maya Wrap through friends, and I was awe-struck. Such beautiful material! I HAD to get one for myself. I also learnt to use a selandang the traditional way, from G, long ago.

A close friend posted something about Elimination Communication on a mailing list I was on. After I checked it out on the web, I knew that was the way to go. So Ray, then 7mo, began her infant potty training days. She "graduated" when she was about 1.5-2yo. When I was expecting my second child, I knew I wanted to EC from his birth. Well ok, I admit I did use disposables here and there the first couple of months, but we moved on, and by 9m, Reu was diaperfree.

We have a family bed (well actually it's 2 mattresses on the floor), and it helps us to respond to our children in the night. You see, my family believes that when babies cry, they have a need to communicate. So, we respond. And that is the very basis of Attachment Parenting.

---
"That's what it's all about!"

Vroom vroom

A new chapter of my life is about to begin.

I will be busier, crazier, more tired, and hopefully richer in a year's time.

But for now, I am short of sleep (even more so than previously), on edge, very confused, very apprehensive, very unsure of myself, and very unwilling to break out of my comfort zone.

But when the tide goes out, the waves push you along, and you are drawn by the current. And you go.

Still Learning

There's so much I'd like to do with my blog, but I'm still trying to find my way around the Mac OS. And I've forgotten all my HTML. I'd like to go read up about it, but there's barely time these days to even check my mails and do administration.

So what the template was, the blog still is. And the links at the side are still "empty". Only 3 people know about it, and of these 3, only ONE visits, hahaha. But yet I have no guts to advertise it in my posts to my mailing lists.

Oh well, it doesn't matter. Let it grow slowly. If at all. If it doesn't, only me and my visitor will know. Hahaha.

Time to get another digicam

I dropped my Olympus about a month ago, and I guess it's died.

AND I'VE GOT LOTS OF PHOTOS STILL STUCK IN MY MEMORY CARD! HOW TO READ THEM NOW???

Hubby says nobody repairs cams these days, better to get another one, but since we've had some heavy expenses recently, so this has to wait.

I'm afraid I'll forget when I took boyby's photos, down to which month and how old he was.
Oh the adoring mom and her ADORABLE baby.

Never been in the same boat

My mom urged me to nurse my girl again yesterday.

She spoke in a roundabout way, "ask your mommy to give you some milk again, so you won't fall sick so easily" and I told her that she (girl) doesn't want to drink (I meant ebm). Whereupon Mom insisted that it was I who refused to nurse.

Explanations of angstiness, irritation during tandem nursing didn't help. "What's so difficult? Breastfeed two is the same as breastfeed one what."

No it is not. I felt terrible whenever I nursed her in the last few months. She wouldn't understand.

"Your dajie (elder sis) was also breastfeeding after you were born what. I didn't feel any irritation."

Well, there you have it. YOU didn't go through what I did. How would you be able to empathise?

Anyway I ended the discussion by asking my girl whether she remembered. "Yes, Mommy, I know it was very irritating for you, and that's why I can drink fresh (cow's) milk."

Isn't she sweet?

Nappies and Moms

The last time I went to Spotlight I got some of this marvellous baby muslin, which is essentially the same as our traditional cloth nappies, except they came in lovely pastelly pink, blue, yellow and green. My plan was to turn them into hankies for the kids, because this material is pretty absorbent, yet still soft and light. So far they're looking good, despite my lousy sewing skills and of course, my machine's perpetual tension problem.

While I was hemming away yesterday, I began to wonder whether the kids would ever have to face any awkward questions along the lines of "Where did you get those horrible cheapskate hankies?" or "Are you so poor that your mom has to cut up yr old nappies to make hankies for you?". What would they say? Would they have the sense to give a respectable answer? Or would they just speechlessly shake their heads? Most importantly, would they understand that their mom made these hankies for them simply because
1) she loved them and wanted to sew them something and
2) these hankies are perfectly suited for their use (or as we say in Sg, cheap and good)?

I tried putting myself in that situation, and I figure there is a very high chance I would say something to insult my own mother. Well, not the me as I am now, but in my younger days. Honestly I am very ashamed of myself for not appreciating my mom more. I've always taken her for granted (still do, although I am TRYING to respect and appreciate her), insulted her a lot over the years for her mistakes, and generally not been doing what the Bible tells me to do (honour your parents). If she were to hear some of the things I've said about her behind her back, I think she has very good cause to disown me. Well, I'm trying to change. Now that I'm a mother, I finally begin to see what she went through to bring me up, despite our not being together most of the time (I lived with my paternal grandma will P1).

Thankfully, God has allowed me to realise the error of my ways in her living days, and a chance to make up to her. I try not to repeat my mistakes, try to set a good example for my children. After all, monkey see, monkey do. Truly I say to you.

p.s. my daughter loves that story about the monkeys and the caps. and today she told me mickey mouse makes this sound when he eats, "gh gh gh ching! gh gh gh gh ching!" AND she said this was what her aunt told her. ??!!

No More Tandeming

"Ok lah, 4 y, enough lah, high time to stop." - every auntie who is told.

I've weaned R1 at the grand ole age of 4 years 2 months. Two weeks ago we were all not well, and most nights I asked her to drink fresh milk because I was really tired. Then after we got better I tandem nursed them one night and asked whether she was ok with not nursing anymore, and she said ok. Imagine my surprise. She said she wanted to "drink fresh milk evvverydayyy!"

Well, since then she has asked to nurse like once or twice, but by default she'll ask me to pour her some fresh milk, so I guess she's ready to move on. I know for my part that I've put the matter out of my head, so I'll refuse even if she asks again.

It's bittersweet, because although I know I won't have to deal with angstiness, irritation, and feelings of being outraged anymore, I AM sad that I won't be able to give her the protection of the antibodies, immune substances, and other components of my milk (she refuses to take ebm). And of course, weaning does signify that she's not a baby anymore, so there goes another chapter in my life. I look back on her baby days with nostalgia.

At the same time, I am seriously beginning solids for R2. He's taken quite kindly to instant pasta sauce and chicken porridge, so if I have the time (with the school holidays just beginning I'm not quite sure how to proceed), I WILL. So I tell myself.

Perhaps it's coincidental, but I developed blocked ducts just a few days after that, on the left side. And when I massaged and nursed R2 in the football position I always nursed R1, the ducts cleared! It's possible that she always used to clear those ducts for me, and since she stopped, they kind of started to build up. Well, the plugs are still there, but are clearing slowly, and I'm thankful, because I've heard of some moms developing mastitis from plugs after weaning an older nursling. Ouch!

Btw, our eMac has arrived, hurray! It's not connected to the internet though, because our DSL modem for the Dell is not compatible. We need to upgrade our broadband package to get the free Ethernet modem, sheesh!

Bugger Off!

There is a supermarket which I love to visit, although I hardly do, as there is another nearer neighbourhood mart which gives the most competitive prices for its goods. Anyway, whenever I do get a chance to go to this one, I always take my time to walk all the neat aisles and browse through all the goods on its shelves (just for the heck of it).However, an incident happened last week which shall forever marr my experience at the store.

I was slinging my baby in the icecream section (drooling at the Magnum boxes) while my husband and daughter were at the checkout counter, when suddenly a very dark-skinned middle-aged Chinese lady spoke to me. She asked me in Mandarin, what I was doing about the rash on my son's face (which is eczema so needs steroid cream application once in a long while), and I told her I was applying "gao yao" (Mandarin for medical cream). She protested violently that I shouldn't do that, and asked me, ASKED me, mind you, whether I wanted to hear the "correct" remedy. I smiled politely and refused. Whereupon she began to rebuke me loudly, saying that with my stubbornness I was putting my baby in danger.

Now I've received quite a few strangers' comments and opinions on how to rid my baby's face of eczema, none of which works, because most middle-aged Chinese women here do not understand the difference between milk rash, eczema, and God knows whatever other dermatological problems which commonly appear on a baby's face. The only thing which does, is an appropriate steroid cream, administered sparingly and occasionally. After all, this is my second child, and I KNOW what to do when the same thing happens.

So I was getting pretty fired up by this time, and told her that this IS my second baby; I know what to do. She walked off, still repeating her mantra of "so stubborn, harm yr baby". Oh I just ignored her and stared longingly at the Magnum, thinking the encounter was over, when within a few seconds, she suddenly reappeared from around the corner and began all over again, "so young, so stubborn, harm yr baby". Argh! What, will she only let me off after I've listened to whatever "remedy" it was she wanted to "recommend"? More like force down my throat!

Thankfully, my husband called me over, so I left this crazy woman behind and left with my family. But that's not the end, oh no! I was given the task to return the supermarket trolley, and I had to turn the corner to do so. As I was doing it, I saw out of the corner of my eye, that this woman had come out of the supermarket too, and was heading towards me. Horrors! Is she gonna stalk me till I do what she says? After I returned the cart, I stayed where I was to wait for my husband and girl, because I really didn't want to confront her, but at the same time thinking furiously what to say to her if she should really come up to me again. And then along came my hubby, who was told that that woman had followed me out, and who tried to see who it was. Just then I saw that that woman was standing just around the corner with another lady and a buggy, so she must be with her. Of course that woman was talking and pointing at me. We left after that.

I am usually very confrontational. It must have been the weather, which was supremely hot that day. At any rate, I shiver slightly whenever I think of that incident and that supermarket, which is a pity.

The Light at the end of the Tunnel

"Nnngggg-NNGGG..."
If I hear this, I rush for the potty. Depending on when he does it, I believe he is now trying to either communciate his need to do a BM, or cue himself to do so. It's really cute to hear him make that sound in the back of his throat. Of course there have been many false alarms, but thankfully my darling is very ok with sitting on his potty even if there's nothing to do. He's very stable there, won't fall unless he tries to reach for something. Which means I can't leave any toys near him unless I'm there. Guess his thunder thighs just keep him steady.

Eight Months

R2 is 8 months old today. And we're still not diaper-free yet, ESPECIALLY at home.

In these past 8 months, I have learnt one thing: babies change. To expect them to remain the same is like expecting Singapore's weather to become predictable. Haha. Patterns emerge, alter, sometimes change drastically. I am glad that throughout these times, I have caught most, if not all, of his eliminations, and have thus put all the "equipment" I invested in - trainers, prefolds, nappies, pocket diapers, liners etc - to good use. Now if only his thighs were not so fat, so everything could last LONGER...

On another (funnier) note, R1 fell in the toilet bowl yesterday after she had a BM, and was waiting for her Dad to wash her. I have no idea how it happened, but we did laugh our heads off, and wished we had a camera at hand. It reminded me of the Ally McBeal episode where the aforementioned protagonist somehow or other got stuck in the WC, and had to have a the firefighting team arrive to chop her out or something. I'm sure her colleagues never forgot it, IF there were a real company like it.