Why good manners are important, especially in a restaurant

"Good manners are not a function of economic status. They are a function of home training, personal insight and consideration for others without losing one’s own sense of self-worth. They do not require a person to accept the unacceptable or to make others unhappy. They reinforce appropriate social limits and allow everyone involved a chance to make the best impression that they can in a verity of circumstances. There are times to pay attention to behaviour and in a restaurant with waiters is one of them. It is also excellent training ground for children." - Tessa E. Tea

This was part of an answer on Quora to the question "Why does the waiter rule work?" It's about how the way you treat wait or service staff shows a lot about your character.

Tessa gave an excellent writeup which I wholly agree with (and learnt a lot more from), especially this summary paragraph where she explains how the way you behave towards strangers and acquaintances, especially people who have to deal with whatever nonsense you dole out, really shows the kind of person you are.

I've not been able to put the thoughts and beliefs behind my insistence on good manners in my children into words, and I'm so thankful for this answer. 

Ok kids, come read this.

It is finished

The day the last child weans is a momentous milestone for every mother who practises Full Term Breastfeeding. After years of offering a breast at a moment's notice, sometimes even in her sleep without her realising it, suddenly she doesn't have to do it ever again, nor will she ever get to do it again.

15 years and 3 months. That is how long I have been breastfeeding, minus 9 months right between RM telling me he doesn't need to anymore, and the birth of Mouse.

I recall when RM was 5 years old, probably right around his 5th birthday. I had asked him that night as he was having his usual "nightcap", when he would stop nen-nen. He thought for a little while and told me, "when I am 7 years old." Guess how old he was when he stopped? 5 years 5 months.

I guess I had been expecting Mouse to stop somewhere about then as well, although I'd hoped it would be later. He was about 5 years 9 months old when he told me, I don't want anymore.

After a couple weeks of minor grieving each evening, I resolved to change my mindset. It's time to celebrate! 

I celebrate that my child has grown secure enough in my love for him to no longer need the attachment that breastfeeding confers. I celebrate that he knows I will always be there for him even without the comfort of my breast and milk.

Migration of Homeschool Posts to a New Dedicated Blog

Now that I have finally decided to really go ahead with homeschooling my Mouse through Kindergarten, I guess I should really focus on it, and posting our journey will also help me to keep myself motivated and in focus. I have migrated all my previous posts on "homeschooling" to

Training A Mouseketeer

I had a chat with DH earlier tonight, about my Kindergarten plans for Mouse through this and the next year, when he would officially be in K1 and K2 if he were to attend an MOE-approved kindergarten. All along, he has not voiced any support or objection about my schooling Mouse at home, but has always left things in my control. For that, I am very grateful, just as I have always been grateful for his support through my choices to have a natural childbirth, breastfeeding, and delay vaccinations.

Very generally, I described the difference in focus between Kindergarten education in Singapore and the US, comparing based on what I have read and learned from a number of homeschoolers as well as what my first two children went through in their time (they both attended a local church kindy). Then I let him know the goals I have set for Mouse to achieve by the end of next year (effectively, completing K2). He commented that I will be actually teaching Mouse more than what our local kindergartens are teaching. We both agree that our objective is just to get Mouse equipped to a certain extent for Primary School education, which I will most certainly NOT be handling. We do not need him to excel in anything (although that would be a plus), but to enjoy learning, and enter formal school with motivation, discipline, and a willingness to learn.

I still tell myself that, if there comes a day when I do not want to continue this, there is a Church kindy just a couple of blocks away d:)

New Home (again) and Old Memories (of Dettol)

We have finally moved into our new place, where we hope to "stay long long". After moving house every two to three years in the last 13 years (and all within our homeland, mind!), we hope we have learnt from our previous renovation mistakes. Our new home is bursting with custom-made designs and ideas from our house-moving journey, as well as incredible inspiration from Pinterest. I love Pinterest!

So a few days ago, I was tasked by hubby to "go get a bottle of Dettol". The two older kids were with me, and as we sought out the cleaning aisle at the supermarket, I felt moved to tell them about the role that Dettol (the original germicide liquid) has played in my life.

The smell of Dettol may be pungent and unpleasant to many, but to me it has always brought back the feeling of being loved and cared for. How is that possible?? Well, when I was a child, whenever I had a cut or some other open wound on my limbs, my grandmother would put a few drops of Dettol liquid in a basin or pail of warm water and bathe my wounds very gently. She doted on me a lot. This is one of my fondest memories of her, bless her soul.

Now the Dettol smell still lingers in our bathrooms because of some weird insects which seem to be frequenting them. It's a tender reminder of the way my grandma loved me.

Update on the Haze situation 21 June 2013

The PSI (pollution standards index) in Singapore hit an all-time high of 401 today. Anything above 300 is considered hazardous so that's really bad. Thankfully, the winds changed direction sometime in the afternoon and we had about 5 hours of (considerably) clearer air during which the PSI hovered between 130 and 150. 

During this period of time, hubby and I decided to "air the house" - open all the windows and doors to allow some movement of fresher air into the house after being closed up for more than 24 hours. The air quality actually was pretty good, no burning smell, not choking. Barely hazy, in fact.

Round about 8.30pm we could tell by looking out the windows that the conditions were beginning to worsen, so it's back to closeup time again.

Things I am grateful for in this time of tribulation:

1. It's the school hols, so we do not have to go out except when necessary.

2. We have enough stock of our respiratory medications on hand, should I or any of the kids begin to get chesty. (I have, in fact, begun to require more frequent preventive doses.)

3. The kids will eat what I cook. This counts for a lot, since on really bad days, there simply is no excuse to leave the house. There's just more washing up, which does suck.

Things I will make a note of to do i.e. Lessons learnt:

1. Go procure a good air purifier after this is all over, if panic buying does not stop meanwhile and all attempts to hunt down purifiers prove futile. If the haze stops within the next couple of weeks and does not return, at least ascertain we get it by May next year (before the dry period recommences).

2. Always have a few N95 or equivalent masks at home. Remember to get child-sized ones.

3. 居安思危 - when you are in peaceful, safe times, prepare for difficult times. Singaporeans are perhaps too well-protected and reliant on our government to resolve all problems. I am sorry to say that I am like that. Must. Change!

Choke choke cough cough.. Haze please go away

So we haven't had conditions this bad since 1997, when the PSI was 226 at its highest. The talk all over Facebook is about the severity of the haze, and the lighting of fires in Indonesia (which is causing all this). 

One of the (most disliked) steps our family is doing to combat the haze is to close all our doors and windows (argh, stuffy) and to keep checking the PSI on the NEA website. The highest so far this time is 172 at 3pm today.

We were chilling out in my bedroom (actually going through mistakes in assessment books) with the aircon on when Ray looked out the window and gasped, "Wow! The sun is red!" and so I took a pic.

Red sun through the haze

With our naked eye, the whole sun is red, but this doesn't show through the camera lens.

Logistics before homeschooling

After a whole lot of homeschooling research this evening, I realise that we really need a proper schoolroom or school area before we can start schooling in earnest. Up till now, for most of Tot School we have been playing/learning anywhere and everywhere in the house, which is not too good because there are lots of distractions from his siblings and other stuff happening in the house.

When we moved to this flat, we had planned to have the two boys share a room in future (currently both boys sleep in my room although the big boy actually has his own bed in the other room). Big boy already does his homework there, since all his stuff - school, clothes, toys etc are there. He just sleeps with me. The opposite side of the room from where his desk is is actually supposed to be for the Mouse when he grows up and goes to school, but there's a toy cupboard that takes up lots of space.

So we are seriously going to have to do some major rearranging of furniture. I've been procrastinating (surprise, surprise) till my parents move house and my stuff that's at their place needs to be brought here, but now I'm motivated to try and get it done these June hols.

Stay away from me, Korean dramas!

So let me get this right...

They want couples to have more babies. They want women to return to the workforce asap after having these babies.

So now they are making it more difficult for young families, who are usually on a tighter budget and have less cash on hand, to own a car, no matter whether new or used.

Then how are we going to ferry our kids around (childcare, school etc) so we can get to work on time? And have quality family time together outside the home (and help contribute to the economy by shopping and spending)? And build the strong core that they want?

Sounds contradictory to me.

I like the new Blogger interface

It's been more than a year since I last blogged and the first thing I can think of is, I like the new Blogger interface.

I have been toying with changing my blog name for some time, since the kids have grown up, but then, now another comes along and gives me a reason to continue. It's tough though, I admit I'm not the most faithful of bloggers PLUS I am more addicted to Facebook then I should be!