EC update: 20 months

Of late, and by that I mean the last couple weeks, Ruvie's been verbally communicating to us that he needs to pee. He usually stands with his feet slightly apart, and has an odd expression on his face (this is different from for poo). If we see it, we catch on and ask," Do you want to sheeshee?" Whereupon which he says "Ng-ng" (which actually means poo but yeah, he needs to go).

So off we go to the bathroom and he pees on cue, the little darling. Our pee miss count is down to one or two per day, including when he's with his Daddy.

Poo, though, must be CAUGHT by us. Just this morning, I was in the toilet myself, to be informed by Rayzel that "Ruvie ng-ng on the floor!" Ah well, that he can't really hold, except when he's outside, and he will try to inform me by looking very harried.

Are we looking at graduation phase 3 soon?

Live in the right country and nobody will nag you

I have often heard people on one of my mailing lists (it's called the big EC list) talking about how they received raised eyebrows and "Are you crazy?" looks whenever they mentioned that they have been gently potty training their babies. Some have even been rudely told off and ordered to shut-up.

In Singapore, if you talk about this, you will most likely get surprise, along the lines of, "Oh, is it possible? My mom told me she did this for me but I didn't really believe this can be done."

Part of this has to do with culture. Singapore (and other countries in this region) have a lot of Chinese, Malays and other ethnic minorities. People of generations past didn't have (much) access to disposables and probably couldn't afford to pay for them anyway. And they were smart. They didn't want to wash so many cloth diapers. They'd figured out that the best way is just to bring the baby to somewhere to do their business, after that clean up and move on.

What I am shocked about is why "mainstream" people in the West would go so far as to really be so negative about something they don't know about.

1st sex education lesson - 5yo

A few nights ago, my daughter came up to me holding a condom packet in her hand. "Mommy, what's this?"

I was peeling a pear. "Oh, it's called a condom."

"What's it for?"

"Well, it's for people to use when they don't want to have a baby."

Silence for a few seconds as she thought that out. Then, "But you and Daddy have Ruvie and me."

"Well love, we used this before we had you and Ruvie, before we were ready to have babies."

"Is it long or short?"

"It's neither. It's like a plastic tube, like a wrapper."

Silence again. "Mommy, after you and Daddy have enough babies, can you show me how to use it please?"

I almost CUT myself. Stupid pear d:)

"Oh, I think when you're a little older you will find out on your own how to use it; you won't need me to show you."

KYA???!!!

18.5 mths pp. total of 27.5mths

That I have been period-free. Ahh.. the wonders of breastfeeding, especially really nursing on demand and full term breastfeeding (which means nursing beyond one year).

So I started using my Mooncup today, a little apprehensively, but I am super pleased with the results. After the initial tension, I was able to relax and let it do its work. It's been so comfy that I would have forgotten if not for the cramps, and my ecstasy about finding the solution to my problems!

Top 10 UNUSUAL reasons to breastfeed

#10 -
Breastmilk can take the place of water when your kid is really thirsty and there's just no water available; just pop it in!

#9 -
Run out of facial wash? Use breastmilk as you would your facial wash and rinse off with warm water. Very moisturising!

#8 -
Breastmilk makes your coffee/tea/milo taste heavenly; add to your drink as you would creamer.

#7 -
Breastmilk can also help relieve the itch from mosquito bites; squirt some on the bite and rub it in.

#6 -
#Breastmilk is marvelous at curing sore eyes, something I've been really grateful for the last couple of weeks during which my almost-5yo girl often complained of "eyepain" and "eyeitch". She just did again tonight, which inspired me to write this post.

#5 -
Breastmilk can be used as an antiseptic when your kid gets a cut outside and there's nowhere to wash the wound. Squirt at the wound, do not rub. Air dry. Also applicable to adult wounds. (Sidenote: be a little more discreet when squirting)

#4 -
Want a larger bosom but implants are a no-no? Breastfeeding often gives women a larger cup size for the duration of breastfeeding or at least in the first year, so you can look better while being a mom! That is, if you WANT a larger cup size (like I do. ALL the time.) Might need you to spend more money on buying a bigger sized bra though.

#3 -
Got insomnia? During breastfeeding, your body releases a hormone called prolactin into your blood, which helps you to relax and (at least for me) feel sleepy.

#2 -
Breastfeeding gives me a reason to eat as much as I want, ANYTHING that I want, on account of all the calories that are burnt up during every nursing session. Bye bye diet, hello chocolate, ice cream, and other fattening stuff!

AND THE #1 UNUSUAL REASON TO BREASTFEED IS -
Breastfeeding can help you to eat more at a buffet; just nurse your kid and presto! you're hungry again!

Phrase of the Week

"I don't want."

"I DON'T want!"

This boy is getting more and more talkative. Converses with himself, and I can already tell that he will have fantastic projection like his mom d:) Really tough on our ears especially when we're in the car.

On the other hand, his pronunciation seems to be improving. Can even pick up Cantonese!

Btw if you're looking for a good roast meats for CNY, our fav is this stall in Loyang Industrial Estate, at the canteen there. Name's Chan Kwong Kee (Singapore). Not cheap, but worth every penny! Also makes a very satisfying lunch/dinner, if you happen to be in the area, and if they've still got any meats left. IME they sell out roast pork by dinnertime.

So that's what teeth are for!

Hi everyone, it's me again, Ruvie.

Let me begin by telling you what I like to do with my chompers these days. Firstly, I've got 4 nice big molars at the back of my mouth now, so I can eat a little more food, and bigger mouthfuls too, although still nowhere like the jiejie who lives two doors away and is only 5 months older than I am. And I've got this funny, small little tooth on my lower jaw, next to my incisors. Mommy simply cannot identify which type of tooth it is, because it's so slim.

Anyway, other than munching on whatever Daddy or Mommy or Jiejie is eating ( I insist on tasting even if they tell me it's "spicy", what's "spicy"? Can eat or not?), I love to BITE PEOPLE, heh heh heh! I've bitten Mommy many many times, on her thighs, tummy, arms, regardless of whether there's any cloth on it or not. Even once on milky! Daddy and Jiejie haven't gotten so many little nicks because they don't hold or hug me as much as Mommy does.

Other things I like to take a bite from are pillows, the bolster, my soft soccer ball which is made from some pseudo leather (wah, I know how to use the word "pseudo" somemore), and even Jiejie's and my shoes! But somehow Mommy and Daddy always come and snatch the shoe away once they spot me.

If I knew it was so fun to bite people and things, I would have done it earlier! It doesn't hurt anyway right? Well, when Mommy uses her teeth to bite me, it doesn't hurt at all. In fact, it's even ticklish and makes me laugh! So if it doesn't hurt me, then I guess it doesn't hurt them either.

Yay! I love my teeth!

"No?"

He has picked it up from his almost-5yo jiejie.

"Are you sleepy?" "No?"
"Do you want milky?" "No?"
Anything that is phrased in the intonation of a question, even if it isn't directed at him, will receive a pre-recorded "No?". Sends us into hysterics sometimes. We are trying to counter it by having Ray reply "Yes" to some premeditated questions.

And guess who is beginning to throw tantrums at 16mo. "Fake" crying, lying down on the floor and wailing, is all part of the process as he picks up loads from his jiejie. Which is why we really need to teach Ray well, so she can set a good example for Ruvie.

It has finally happened

This is the first time my 4yo is away from me for a night, and it feels strange. She's been admitted to KKH for observation of shortness of breath and bronchitis, and Dad's with her. Baby and I came home about 12mn and after lots of fussing and crying, he's finally asleep.

I look back and realise that this is only the start of her growing up, that there will be so many more nights, as she grows up, when she will be away from me, and be fine about it. I can still recall so many scenes when she refused to have anyone but Mummy, even for a nap, because she needed to nurse to be happy enough to sleep.

And yet, what a change - recently I offered to nurse her, but she giggled and said, "No thanks!" I asked her," Don't you want to nurse?" "I don't want," came the answer. She doesn't remember how to latch on, she told me.

I guess most of her independence came after weaning. As long as she didn't need to nurse to sleep, she was fine, generally. But my boy, on the other hand, CAN sleep without nursing, that is, if he isn't with me, or if he's in his childseat and I'm driving.

I feel a little sad... But I know it's time to move on.

PASS THE WINE, SOMEBODY!

Newly Mobile

Passed on my first try! Pop the champagne!

But I might have beaten a red light yesterday, gulp.

Oh well, it's good to be independent and not have to wait for the-only-one-who-could-drive to bring me out for errands. Makes my business so much more, er, run-a-ble.

Now to organise an EC gathering, something I've wanted to do for so long.

Anyone wants to offer their house?

How do you measure a year?

365 days? 365 and 1/4 days? 52 weeks? In terms of hours, minutes and seconds? In terms of the joy and sadness, ups and downs, that you went through?

A year ago, I was experiencing labour contractions for the first time in my life, although it was my second baby. I never expected it to feel like THAT. And of course I'd hoped and hoped that it wouldn't end like THIS. But the outcome was positive for both of us, mother and baby.

I'd dreamed of my baby all through my pregnancy. Sometimes, it was a girl. Sometimes, it was a boy. And other times, I didn't know the gender! But when I asked my husband, is it a boy or a girl, in the OT, he took a look, smiled a sheepish smile, and said, BOY.

And Reuvel was here to stay.

I am the Prince of Mischief

Hello again everybody,

Today I want to tell you about my pastimes. You must be very surprised - wow, I have pastimes at 11mths of age? Why yes!

One of my favs is crawling over to the clothes bureau, pulling the bottom drawer out (I'd do the higher ones if I can reach them), and throwing ALL the neatly folded clothes inside (my jiejie's) onto the floor. I pretend I'm digging for buried treasure. But I absolutely detest it when Mom and Jiejie start shouting, "No Ruvie don't!" and rush over to erase all my efforts. They usually barr me from opening the drawer again. Hey! How am I supposed to find any treasure?

As a variation, I sometimes try to pull and throw piles of neatly folded laundry which Mom or Dad has stacked up on the foam mats, so they have to fold the laundry again. I am of the opinion that they don't have enough work to do, so I generally sneak up when they are absorbed in watching TV.

Let's see... What else do I like to do? Ah yes, recently I have taken to playing with the shoes which are placed next to the front door. After handling them all over, I sometimes chew on them a bit. Everybody else seems to see something wrong with this, because as soon as they see me doing it they'll come over and take me away. And Mom calls me a puppy. Why?

And I dunno why, but these days, when we're home, I don't like to go when Mom brings me to the toilet or potty, even if I know I need to go. However, after she gives up and leaves me be, I will do a huge pee or poo and Mom will have to clean me and it up. Perhaps it's because I'm crawling now and learning more and more things everyday so I can't be bothered to do little things like pottying. Just today, I did a huge poo right next to the potty in the STUDY and was playing with it when Mom returned from the kitchen. She went up in smoke of course, but couldn't be angry with me for more than 1 second.

But although I create a lot of chaos for Mom, I know that she is very glad that I can now hold my pee all through the night till the next morning. I am also happy that Mom can now sleep more and better at night because of this.

I wonder what else I can cook up tomorrow...

Two Milkies Are Better Than One

Hi everybody,

My name is Ruvie. I am 11mo now, and I will be 1yo soon. Wow! I can't believe I've already been in this world for almost a year now, and I've learnt a lot about the people around me.

For example, last month, I learnt that my mommy has TWO milkies, yay! In the past, I usually had "milky", and I didn't understand why sometimes I had to close my left eye, and sometimes I had to close my right. But one day, when Mom was lying down flat on the bed, I crawled over to latch on to "milky", and then hey! I could see another!

Immediately I let go and moved to "um" the other one, and then hey! There's the first one again, peeping at me! So I let go to go back to the other one, and so on and so forth, causing my mommy lots of anguish because I had let go in the middle of a letdown and milk was spraying all over my face and wetting mom's bed.

Oh well. I LURRRVE MILKY!!!

WAHM now

Phew... I never knew running my own business would be so tiring and mind-boggling.

Thankfully, I don't have to do the financial planning, but getting everything in order, trying to stay ahead of the competition ON TOP OF running the family is taking its toll on me. I've been getting this neck stiffness a lot. It doesn't go away with massage (not that I get much of that anyway), keeps me from falling asleep, makes me real gonggong at times.

However I also suspect it's got something to do with my fan or eMac. ARGHHHH!

I just thought this belonged here

Hello everyone,

I have two kids - Ray 4yo, and Reu 10mo. When I became a mother for the first time, I didn't do any research on parenting, and just assumed things would come naturally. Boy was I wrong! It was only through much trial and error that I finally found my groove to parent as my instincts told me, and subsequently, I found out that what I'd been doing all along had a name - Attachment Parenting.

It began with breastfeeding - something that I felt was the only way I would feed my babies, not only because of its uncountable benefits to baby and mommy, nor because I totally didn't believe in formula, but mainly because I felt it was the right thing to do. And so, I nursed Ray on and on, despite lots of obstacles and always having to bear with the naysayers. Later, my son Reu was born when his sister was 3.5yo, and since neither of us was ready to wean, I tandem nursed for 9 months.

Now in retrospect, perhaps the most important baby paraphernalia I have ever bought is the sling. It helped me to carry Ray with me everywhere I went, and now Reu. My first sling was from Moms In Mind, and I've still got it, reluctant to sell even after I bought a few more. Then I discovered the Maya Wrap through friends, and I was awe-struck. Such beautiful material! I HAD to get one for myself. I also learnt to use a selandang the traditional way, from G, long ago.

A close friend posted something about Elimination Communication on a mailing list I was on. After I checked it out on the web, I knew that was the way to go. So Ray, then 7mo, began her infant potty training days. She "graduated" when she was about 1.5-2yo. When I was expecting my second child, I knew I wanted to EC from his birth. Well ok, I admit I did use disposables here and there the first couple of months, but we moved on, and by 9m, Reu was diaperfree.

We have a family bed (well actually it's 2 mattresses on the floor), and it helps us to respond to our children in the night. You see, my family believes that when babies cry, they have a need to communicate. So, we respond. And that is the very basis of Attachment Parenting.

---
"That's what it's all about!"

Vroom vroom

A new chapter of my life is about to begin.

I will be busier, crazier, more tired, and hopefully richer in a year's time.

But for now, I am short of sleep (even more so than previously), on edge, very confused, very apprehensive, very unsure of myself, and very unwilling to break out of my comfort zone.

But when the tide goes out, the waves push you along, and you are drawn by the current. And you go.

Still Learning

There's so much I'd like to do with my blog, but I'm still trying to find my way around the Mac OS. And I've forgotten all my HTML. I'd like to go read up about it, but there's barely time these days to even check my mails and do administration.

So what the template was, the blog still is. And the links at the side are still "empty". Only 3 people know about it, and of these 3, only ONE visits, hahaha. But yet I have no guts to advertise it in my posts to my mailing lists.

Oh well, it doesn't matter. Let it grow slowly. If at all. If it doesn't, only me and my visitor will know. Hahaha.

Time to get another digicam

I dropped my Olympus about a month ago, and I guess it's died.

AND I'VE GOT LOTS OF PHOTOS STILL STUCK IN MY MEMORY CARD! HOW TO READ THEM NOW???

Hubby says nobody repairs cams these days, better to get another one, but since we've had some heavy expenses recently, so this has to wait.

I'm afraid I'll forget when I took boyby's photos, down to which month and how old he was.
Oh the adoring mom and her ADORABLE baby.

Never been in the same boat

My mom urged me to nurse my girl again yesterday.

She spoke in a roundabout way, "ask your mommy to give you some milk again, so you won't fall sick so easily" and I told her that she (girl) doesn't want to drink (I meant ebm). Whereupon Mom insisted that it was I who refused to nurse.

Explanations of angstiness, irritation during tandem nursing didn't help. "What's so difficult? Breastfeed two is the same as breastfeed one what."

No it is not. I felt terrible whenever I nursed her in the last few months. She wouldn't understand.

"Your dajie (elder sis) was also breastfeeding after you were born what. I didn't feel any irritation."

Well, there you have it. YOU didn't go through what I did. How would you be able to empathise?

Anyway I ended the discussion by asking my girl whether she remembered. "Yes, Mommy, I know it was very irritating for you, and that's why I can drink fresh (cow's) milk."

Isn't she sweet?

Nappies and Moms

The last time I went to Spotlight I got some of this marvellous baby muslin, which is essentially the same as our traditional cloth nappies, except they came in lovely pastelly pink, blue, yellow and green. My plan was to turn them into hankies for the kids, because this material is pretty absorbent, yet still soft and light. So far they're looking good, despite my lousy sewing skills and of course, my machine's perpetual tension problem.

While I was hemming away yesterday, I began to wonder whether the kids would ever have to face any awkward questions along the lines of "Where did you get those horrible cheapskate hankies?" or "Are you so poor that your mom has to cut up yr old nappies to make hankies for you?". What would they say? Would they have the sense to give a respectable answer? Or would they just speechlessly shake their heads? Most importantly, would they understand that their mom made these hankies for them simply because
1) she loved them and wanted to sew them something and
2) these hankies are perfectly suited for their use (or as we say in Sg, cheap and good)?

I tried putting myself in that situation, and I figure there is a very high chance I would say something to insult my own mother. Well, not the me as I am now, but in my younger days. Honestly I am very ashamed of myself for not appreciating my mom more. I've always taken her for granted (still do, although I am TRYING to respect and appreciate her), insulted her a lot over the years for her mistakes, and generally not been doing what the Bible tells me to do (honour your parents). If she were to hear some of the things I've said about her behind her back, I think she has very good cause to disown me. Well, I'm trying to change. Now that I'm a mother, I finally begin to see what she went through to bring me up, despite our not being together most of the time (I lived with my paternal grandma will P1).

Thankfully, God has allowed me to realise the error of my ways in her living days, and a chance to make up to her. I try not to repeat my mistakes, try to set a good example for my children. After all, monkey see, monkey do. Truly I say to you.

p.s. my daughter loves that story about the monkeys and the caps. and today she told me mickey mouse makes this sound when he eats, "gh gh gh ching! gh gh gh gh ching!" AND she said this was what her aunt told her. ??!!