Why good manners are important, especially in a restaurant

"Good manners are not a function of economic status. They are a function of home training, personal insight and consideration for others without losing one’s own sense of self-worth. They do not require a person to accept the unacceptable or to make others unhappy. They reinforce appropriate social limits and allow everyone involved a chance to make the best impression that they can in a verity of circumstances. There are times to pay attention to behaviour and in a restaurant with waiters is one of them. It is also excellent training ground for children." - Tessa E. Tea

This was part of an answer on Quora to the question "Why does the waiter rule work?" It's about how the way you treat wait or service staff shows a lot about your character.

Tessa gave an excellent writeup which I wholly agree with (and learnt a lot more from), especially this summary paragraph where she explains how the way you behave towards strangers and acquaintances, especially people who have to deal with whatever nonsense you dole out, really shows the kind of person you are.

I've not been able to put the thoughts and beliefs behind my insistence on good manners in my children into words, and I'm so thankful for this answer. 

Ok kids, come read this.

Injury Week

Something went wrong with my left wrist earlier this week. A little bone seemed to stick out further than the same on the other side, and it very quickly went from no pain to excruciating within a couple of days, with redness and much swelling.

Yowch! I couldn't bend my wrist at all and had to keep it straight with the fingers extended, ALL the time.

After bearing the pain for more than a day (and relying on my family to help with everything), I finally decided to get medical help (the crazy tolerance of women, ha ha). The X-ray showed that a piece of bone fragment, possibly from an earlier injury, that, combined with the activity from volleyball, led to inflammation of the area.

The doctor prescribed some NSAIDs, which worked very quickly to reduce the pain and swelling, although the area is still red. I shall have to consider whether it would be necessary to have some minor surgery to remove the fragment. *shudder*

In the meantime, I concede that I have to do something about my bones d:(

My parents are chasing me to take Calcium supplements, but in light of all that I have read about those (ground up rocks and oyster shells?? who wants to eat THOSE??), I am going to try to persue a more food-based approach. 

I've learnt that calcium absorption is closely tied to Magnesium, Vitamin D and Vitamin K2 as well. 

So let's begin with foods that are good sources of Calcium, in a form definitely more bioavailable than oyster shells and rocks (YUCK!)

1. Sesame seeds

2. Sardines, canned in oil with bones

3. Yogurt, unsweetened

4. Spinach, cooked

5. Collard greens

6. Almonds

7. Broccoli, raw

I eat all the above, and enjoy them very much. Hurray for me!

For Vitamin D, going out everyday is all the vitamin D I need.

Next, Vitamin K2 - natto, and dontcha know it, it's one of my favourite foods, haha.

Lastly, Magnesium. This is rather more tricky, and the only thing I can be sure of is that it should NOT come from magnesium stearate. I need to go find out more about this.

Meantime, no volleyball for me *sob sob* for at least a week. And I will need to find a wrist guard to support my wrist when I play.

What does this all mean? More shopping, yeah!

It is finished

The day the last child weans is a momentous milestone for every mother who practises Full Term Breastfeeding. After years of offering a breast at a moment's notice, sometimes even in her sleep without her realising it, suddenly she doesn't have to do it ever again, nor will she ever get to do it again.

15 years and 3 months. That is how long I have been breastfeeding, minus 9 months right between RM telling me he doesn't need to anymore, and the birth of Mouse.

I recall when RM was 5 years old, probably right around his 5th birthday. I had asked him that night as he was having his usual "nightcap", when he would stop nen-nen. He thought for a little while and told me, "when I am 7 years old." Guess how old he was when he stopped? 5 years 5 months.

I guess I had been expecting Mouse to stop somewhere about then as well, although I'd hoped it would be later. He was about 5 years 9 months old when he told me, I don't want anymore.

After a couple weeks of minor grieving each evening, I resolved to change my mindset. It's time to celebrate! 

I celebrate that my child has grown secure enough in my love for him to no longer need the attachment that breastfeeding confers. I celebrate that he knows I will always be there for him even without the comfort of my breast and milk.

Plunging into Cast Iron

So I've heard (ok, read, really) soooo many people online swearing by cast iron, and I'm honestly getting sick of even the more healthy ceramic-coated pans. 

I've been using the Happycall Diamond range for some years, and had to change the wok last year because I dropped it d:( It had a huge dent on one side, but honestly, it was also rather scratched, despite my using only non-metal utensils.

As is my wont, I did some reading up on cast iron. Some of the best sites were The Kitchn and Serious Eats, which explain how cast iron works (non-stick, heat-retentive) and how to care for cast iron. 

I decided to buy a small skillet first, as I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle the weight of a bigger one. This one is an 8 inch.

I spent two weeks, just seasoning it. Everyday I would oil it, put it in the oven and roast it for about 45min to and hour, then let it cool for the night.

The result blew my mind away. My pan is nonstick enough to fry eggs without them sticking. Of course the eggs don't slide around like in a brand new teflon or ceramic coated pan, but just a gentle nudge with a silicone or wooden turner lifts the egg off the pan.

The only cons about it are, firstly (of course) the weight. However, I've found my groove for washing and re-seasoning it, and I count it as strength training for my wrist.

The second con is that it stinks. The seasoning, that is. Even after cooling it down completely before storing in my cooled oven does not eliminate the stink. But we'll deal with it.

I've thrown away my HappyCall Diamond frypan. Don't need it anymore. Yay!

Modern Day Kungfu Manuals for Students

今天心血来朝, 为大儿子的两本自习"课本"做了两个covers. 虽然很简单, 却让两本<<武林秘笈>>增添了几分色彩. 希望他看到会更有心情复习.

Happy Birthday To My Big Boy

Eleven years old today!

I made him a chocolate sponge with fresh whipped cream. The recipe for the chocolate sponge is from Kitchen Tigress. Delicious!

Meet My Mother

My sourdough mother, that is. I finally got up the courage to try and make my own starter. After reading several sites on how to do this, including comparisons of flour, water and whether or not to add yeast to "help" it along, I decided to just do the most basic and least-additive version.

So I mixed some filtered water (since I have a water filter) with a mix of (the last of my) plain flour, bread flour, and wholemeal flour. I think my proportions were way off - it was super runny. 

The date should be 25 May 2015 midnight (start of new day)

24 hours later there were a few bubbles on the surface, but it still smelled like wet flour. And a layer of hooch had formed so I poured as much of it off as I could and added more wholemeal flour to thicken it up. 

After another 12 hours, it looked more or less the same, but my son said the smell reminded him of Thosai, the Indian fermented rice flour pancake that we like to eat. Great chance to teach him that Thosai is made of fermented flour paste. I poured off more hooch that had formed and added more flour.

Another 12hrs later, it looked like this! Reminded me of no knead dough after rising. I added still more flour (it's still too runny compared with the pics I saw on the net).

This morning (12 hours later) it had gone nuts! The plastic wrap had been pushed up into a dome by the growing mass of dough. I forgot to take a pic of it because I was so excited at seeing it and immediately pulled the plastic wrap off, which deflated the thing.

 So after feeding it a little more, I transferred it into a clean plastic jar and sent it into hibernation.

I've read that the starter should be at least be a week old before using it to bake, so in the meantime, it's recipe-hunting time! I intend to use this to make a rye loaf, which DH likes. 

Migration of Homeschool Posts to a New Dedicated Blog

Now that I have finally decided to really go ahead with homeschooling my Mouse through Kindergarten, I guess I should really focus on it, and posting our journey will also help me to keep myself motivated and in focus. I have migrated all my previous posts on "homeschooling" to

Training A Mouseketeer

I had a chat with DH earlier tonight, about my Kindergarten plans for Mouse through this and the next year, when he would officially be in K1 and K2 if he were to attend an MOE-approved kindergarten. All along, he has not voiced any support or objection about my schooling Mouse at home, but has always left things in my control. For that, I am very grateful, just as I have always been grateful for his support through my choices to have a natural childbirth, breastfeeding, and delay vaccinations.

Very generally, I described the difference in focus between Kindergarten education in Singapore and the US, comparing based on what I have read and learned from a number of homeschoolers as well as what my first two children went through in their time (they both attended a local church kindy). Then I let him know the goals I have set for Mouse to achieve by the end of next year (effectively, completing K2). He commented that I will be actually teaching Mouse more than what our local kindergartens are teaching. We both agree that our objective is just to get Mouse equipped to a certain extent for Primary School education, which I will most certainly NOT be handling. We do not need him to excel in anything (although that would be a plus), but to enjoy learning, and enter formal school with motivation, discipline, and a willingness to learn.

I still tell myself that, if there comes a day when I do not want to continue this, there is a Church kindy just a couple of blocks away d:)

Three Layered Sponge Cake

This cake caused me a lot of anguish. I started two days earlier before the birthday celebration of a close friend and mentor, with previously successful recipes, but batch after batch failed (thick fatty layer on bottom of cake) till I was at my wits' end. Up till now, I still don't know what I did in the last batch that magically resulted in these almost perfect sponge cakes.

Anyway, here it is. A three layered sponge cake, filled between layers with cream and sliced fresh strawberries and kiwi, then topped with more fresh dairy whipped cream and fruits.

Happy Birthday Yvonne!

Inaugural Christmas Hampers 2014

I have always been attracted by gift hampers, ever since I was a little girl. The food ones on display on supermarket shelves are (usually) beautifully wrapped with cellophane and seem to contain the most delicious goodies anyone could want -- chocolates, cookies... I remember watching a commercial on TV by this gift hamper company called Noel. The scene of the delivery person arriving at a house to present the gorgeous hamper to the recipient family and their pleased and surprised expressions (okay, I now know it's all acting) left a strong impression on my little girl mind.

I think I received my first gift hamper after I had my first baby. Can't remember who it was but it was sent to the hospital. The contents were all baby-related, so hmm... I guess it wasn't for me but for my baby, haha. Nevertheless, thanks to those young childhood memories, I was immensely happy at receiving that hamper. I still keep the box that was used as the, er, hamper. It's a little mildewy though, probably from sitting in my wardrobe for years, hehe.

Nine years later, after I had my third baby, a Noel hamper arrived from a close Uncle and Aunt who were regretful that they couldn't attend the baby shower, which is actually known as the Full Month Birthday Celebration among Chinese people. A NOEL hamper!!! The brand I'd always seen on TV as a little girl! The child in me was so over the moon, I immediately telephoned them to express my gratitude. Needless to say, that box hasn't left my ownership.

Moving on, this year, I was cracking my brains as to what food gift to prepare for Christmas for my close friends and family (a yearly brain-cracking occurrence). I couldn't decide, so the lightbulb that finally light up suggested a little bit of each type. Aaaaaaand of course I had to give them in hampers! What fun! My chance to pass on a little of that warmth that I had received, first from the TV so many years ago, and then in recent years from the love and support of my family and friends.

I found three suitably-sized cardboard shoeboxes with lids that I could use as the "hamper". The lids were stuck on the bottom of the boxes to provide additional support for the base, as I knew that my items were going to be rather dense and heavy.

Next I lined the boxes with what I call bouquet paper cos I really dunno the official name for it, but it's what most professionally-wrapped bouquets in Singapore are wrapped in. Not cheap, this kind of paper, say at least $2 a sheet at any florist? I saved mine from all the bouquets I've received in the last thirteen years, not, alas, from dear hubby but from my ex-boss, who is also my close friend cum mentor. She gives me a bouquet of flowers every year when we meet to celebrate my birthday, and I save every sheet of paper from them. DH last gave me flowers when he proposed. I still have the wrapping papers from that bouquet d:)

This is the part I like best -- stuffing the hampers with goodies! I made fruitcake, brownies, chocolate syrup and granola, all properly packed, labelled and shelf-life stated. On a bed of colourful shredded paper.

Then I hit a snag. It was late at night and I don't keep cellophane paper on hand. HOW on earth was I going to wrap these hampers? I hit on the roll of plastic leftover from wrapping my kids' school books. Not the right kind but as long as it works, right?

At the end, I slipped into each box a Christmas card to add to the festiveness and they were done! 

I must say I enjoyed the process, although I do wish I'd planned this earlier so I could have prepared and bought all the materials for it. Majulah Lulu!

Japanese Strawberry Shortcake

After the relative failure of the Devil's Food Cake last month, I really wanted to bring my family's opinion of my cake-baking skills up again, so I set my heart on this Strawberry Shortcake that I'd heard so much about. Especially since it was for the birthday celebration of my sister.

Strange. The first few recipes on Google seemed to be making something like a scone or choux pastry, instead of a cake. I was getting increasingly befuddled.

Finally, I saw the words "Japanese Strawberry Shortcake" and THIS really seemed to be a kind of sponge cake. Later, I did more researching and realised that the "western" Strawberry Shortcake and "Japanese" Strawberry Shortcake are actually very different things. Perhaps the only similarity is that they both use whipped cream and sliced strawberries for filling.

It was an undisputed success! All loved it, okay, maybe except for the fussy Roast Meat of a son who doesn't eat strawberries. I regret forgetting to take a pic of the cut sides, so I can show how beautiful the cake looks with all the layers. Well, there are countless pics available online, as long as you search for "japanese strawberry shortcake".

Happy Birthday Jie!

Devil's Food Cake - First Try

It's my Dad's birthday, and we are having a family celebration tonight. Technically, it should be the combined celebration that includes my birthday celebration, the anniversary of my first cry being a few days later, but we usually only sing for my Dad.

Now that I've become the official family baker, it was a given that I should again be the supplier of the cake. I decided to try something new -- Devil's Food Cake. Sounds incredibly easy from all the various versions -- just cream the butter, sugar and eggs, then pretty much beat everything else in. No need to fold, no need to worry about deflating eggs, and assured dense chocolatey flavour. Bring it on!

The top few hits on Google yielded Nigella Lawson, Martha Stewart and a few others. I read them all (including the reviews where available) and then found David Lebovitz's recipe on the next page. I read it through and decided to go for this one because I've had success with his Madeleines (every single time) and like reading his blog.

Unfortunately, as everyone could tell after taking a couple of bites, it was a little too dry. I suspect it was the baking time, but it was weird because everyone's recipe says to bake for about that length of time. If I try this again, (and I will for sure, because my big boy loves it and is requesting it for his birthday next year) I shall have to decrease the baking time by 5 mins and test for doneness, something which I didn't do this time because of blind faith.

This has turned out to be my best and most cooperative chocolate ganache icing, though. Smooth, glossy, easy to spread, delicious.

Check out that sheen in the ganache.

New Home (again) and Old Memories (of Dettol)

We have finally moved into our new place, where we hope to "stay long long". After moving house every two to three years in the last 13 years (and all within our homeland, mind!), we hope we have learnt from our previous renovation mistakes. Our new home is bursting with custom-made designs and ideas from our house-moving journey, as well as incredible inspiration from Pinterest. I love Pinterest!

So a few days ago, I was tasked by hubby to "go get a bottle of Dettol". The two older kids were with me, and as we sought out the cleaning aisle at the supermarket, I felt moved to tell them about the role that Dettol (the original germicide liquid) has played in my life.

The smell of Dettol may be pungent and unpleasant to many, but to me it has always brought back the feeling of being loved and cared for. How is that possible?? Well, when I was a child, whenever I had a cut or some other open wound on my limbs, my grandmother would put a few drops of Dettol liquid in a basin or pail of warm water and bathe my wounds very gently. She doted on me a lot. This is one of my fondest memories of her, bless her soul.

Now the Dettol smell still lingers in our bathrooms because of some weird insects which seem to be frequenting them. It's a tender reminder of the way my grandma loved me.

The Day The HDB Approval Came

One of our biggest headaches in this renovation was the approval for hacking down a couple of walls. According to the ID, it had to do with this area (Bedok), which was supposedly notorious for being troublesome.

Well, it finally came and the team lost no time in knocking the walls down. We were, after all, very delayed in our schedule.

Balcony sliding door removed

Living room wall hacked to reveal new living room

Kitchen wall hacked to reveal new kitchen entrance

I literally jumped for joy!

Recipe for Steamed Chicken

This dish has become one of our family's favourite chicken dishes, because it's tasty, healthy and (for me) so easy to cook.

Lulu's Steamed Chicken Recipe

Ingredients:

1 whole chicken 1.5kg+-, neck and feet trimmed off (you can keep the bishop's nose if you want)

1/2 tsp salt

1 clove garlic, smashed

1 small piece of ginger, smashed

1/4 cup shaoxing 绍兴 or huadiao 花雕 wine

Method:

Get the steamer going on medium heat (ensure it's big enough to contain the whole chicken plus it's plate)

Rub the cleaned chicken with salt all over, inside and outside. Place the garlic and ginger in the cavity and place the chicken in a deep, heatproof dish.

Pour the wine over the chicken and place the whole dish in the steamer.

Set the timer for 30min.

After 30 min, remove chicken and plate from steamer and let cool on table for at least 15min before carving.

Leftovers are perfect for overnight bentos, as long as they are uncontaminated by saliva.

Finally, success with the Waterfall Braid

All thanks to my neighbour who asked me to try again even though I'd failed miserably at it a year ago on my daughter's hair.

Double waterfall braids

The highlights in her hair really bring out the effects of the braid. Here's a side view of the braid. We left her fringe out.

Update on the Haze situation 21 June 2013

The PSI (pollution standards index) in Singapore hit an all-time high of 401 today. Anything above 300 is considered hazardous so that's really bad. Thankfully, the winds changed direction sometime in the afternoon and we had about 5 hours of (considerably) clearer air during which the PSI hovered between 130 and 150. 

During this period of time, hubby and I decided to "air the house" - open all the windows and doors to allow some movement of fresher air into the house after being closed up for more than 24 hours. The air quality actually was pretty good, no burning smell, not choking. Barely hazy, in fact.

Round about 8.30pm we could tell by looking out the windows that the conditions were beginning to worsen, so it's back to closeup time again.

Things I am grateful for in this time of tribulation:

1. It's the school hols, so we do not have to go out except when necessary.

2. We have enough stock of our respiratory medications on hand, should I or any of the kids begin to get chesty. (I have, in fact, begun to require more frequent preventive doses.)

3. The kids will eat what I cook. This counts for a lot, since on really bad days, there simply is no excuse to leave the house. There's just more washing up, which does suck.

Things I will make a note of to do i.e. Lessons learnt:

1. Go procure a good air purifier after this is all over, if panic buying does not stop meanwhile and all attempts to hunt down purifiers prove futile. If the haze stops within the next couple of weeks and does not return, at least ascertain we get it by May next year (before the dry period recommences).

2. Always have a few N95 or equivalent masks at home. Remember to get child-sized ones.

3. 居安思危 - when you are in peaceful, safe times, prepare for difficult times. Singaporeans are perhaps too well-protected and reliant on our government to resolve all problems. I am sorry to say that I am like that. Must. Change!

Choke choke cough cough.. Haze please go away

So we haven't had conditions this bad since 1997, when the PSI was 226 at its highest. The talk all over Facebook is about the severity of the haze, and the lighting of fires in Indonesia (which is causing all this). 

One of the (most disliked) steps our family is doing to combat the haze is to close all our doors and windows (argh, stuffy) and to keep checking the PSI on the NEA website. The highest so far this time is 172 at 3pm today.

We were chilling out in my bedroom (actually going through mistakes in assessment books) with the aircon on when Ray looked out the window and gasped, "Wow! The sun is red!" and so I took a pic.

Red sun through the haze

With our naked eye, the whole sun is red, but this doesn't show through the camera lens.

Logistics before homeschooling

After a whole lot of homeschooling research this evening, I realise that we really need a proper schoolroom or school area before we can start schooling in earnest. Up till now, for most of Tot School we have been playing/learning anywhere and everywhere in the house, which is not too good because there are lots of distractions from his siblings and other stuff happening in the house.

When we moved to this flat, we had planned to have the two boys share a room in future (currently both boys sleep in my room although the big boy actually has his own bed in the other room). Big boy already does his homework there, since all his stuff - school, clothes, toys etc are there. He just sleeps with me. The opposite side of the room from where his desk is is actually supposed to be for the Mouse when he grows up and goes to school, but there's a toy cupboard that takes up lots of space.

So we are seriously going to have to do some major rearranging of furniture. I've been procrastinating (surprise, surprise) till my parents move house and my stuff that's at their place needs to be brought here, but now I'm motivated to try and get it done these June hols.

Stay away from me, Korean dramas!

Cheese cupcakes

I first fell in love with cheesecake years ago when I tried out (for fun) this recipe on Allrecipes called Chantal's New York Cheesecake. It took some time to make (and get right) but the final product was incredibly delicious. My daughter likes it too, and over the years often begged me to make it, which I seldom acquiesced because it takes some work, quite some cost and most of all, lots of TIME to complete (including leaving it to cool in the oven for at least FIVE hours and THEN chilling overnight in the fridge, ye gods).

A slice of New York Cheesecake

Then recently, I came across a recipe that made mini-cupcakes out of cheesecakes. It seemed so easy - just beat, pour and bake. Really? I had to try. The result of that recipe was passable cheese cupcakes (I didn't have mini muffin pans at that time) that were a tad hard and dry. However, it was fast to make, lower in cost (only half a kilo of cream cheese whereas a whole 9 inch cake required 1 kg at one go, that's not cheap!) and simple to complete, which meant I could do up a batch easily anytime we wanted a cheesecake fix. Best of all, I can double the recipe or halve it to my requirements. I wanted my cake and eat it! (Oh dear, this last sentence was bad grammar but I'm too sleepy to figure the right structure out).

I brought out my trusty Chantal's recipe to compare and decided to give it another go, this time using the ingredients ratio for Chantal's recipe but baking it the cupcakes way. The results? I don't think I've ever made more delectable cupcakes or cheesecakes in my life.

Cheese cupcakes

In the pic above, two cakes are topped with some chopped strawberries that have been mixed with sugar, and the others  are just topped with grated dark chocolate. A few members of my family prefer another topping - strawberries mixed with passionfruit.

And here are some I made for a family friend's birthday. All topped with only the strawberry-sugar mixture (ran out of dark choc).